What love conceals, time reveals. Important life cycle passages can illuminate the challenges a couple may face in defining a clear identity for their family. Planning a wedding, the birth of a child, deciding whether to have a bar mitzvah or a baptism, or the death of a parent can all trigger a crisis. Discussions about these issues can be so emotionally charged that many couples try to avoid them. But developing the skills to face your differences and constructively deal with them presents an important opportunity to build stronger and deeper relationships.
The most important thing to remember is to take on the work of creating positive agreements about the religious and cultural identity for your family. The sooner you do it, the better the chance you’ll have to find a path that works for you.
I have been counseling interfaith and cross-cultural couples for over thirty years. I’m the author of the book Mixed Matches: How to Create Successful Interracial, Interethnic, and Interfaith Relationships. I’d be glad to discuss how I might help you to become a successful “Mixed Match.”
